I am trying so hard to be excited for you, but I am not!

Six ways to manage the envy emotion

Aderonke Awonusi
3 min readMar 9, 2022
Photo by Brett Sayles from Pexels

Have you ever been in a situation where a friend counts you so important as the first person they could break a good news to? You immediately sound really upbeat and excited for them by congratulating them. You could even give them the warmest hug, but almost immediately, you start to battle with some form of downcast emotion which you can’t really explain. I should be happy for this friend shouldn’t I? I am trying to physically show it but somewhere on the inside, I am not that excited. Then we start to ask questions…Why is this person always the lucky one? How exactly does this person deserve this blessing? How come I never get this lucky? Are we really serving the same God?

Most often , we find that as we continue to wallow on such thoughts, resentment and envy starts to set in.

Six ways to manage the envy feeling.

  1. Acknowledge it

Being envious is almost involuntary. We don’t plan to be, it just sips in. However fanning it and condoning its atrocity is where the issue lies. Therefore, the best place to acknowledge we are envious of others is in the presence of God. It is safe to quickly be vulnerable by telling our creator how jealous we feel of another person’s blessing. He is our father, and he has the capacity to manage all types of emotions even the ones we are not proud to share with others for fear of being mocked or criticised. It is always useful to ask God to reveal his own plans for us, as it might be totally different from what we are longing for.

But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth.(James 3:14 NIV)

2) Avoid being nosy

We need to resist the urge to pry into how someone else got thier blessing. Its useless for example to start to research about how someone made thier money on social media or keep asking questions about them from other sources, that reflects we are suspicious of them or their success. Quality time could be spent instead, in seeking God more and focusing on his plans for our lives.

3) Be humble enough to ask

In some cases, the people we are envious of, have the capacity to help us. It might be useful to swallow one’s pride and ask for help. If they are trustworthy and willing, then we can ask them for directions. It is better not to allow pride rob one of a breakthrough, simply because of envy.

When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom (Proverbs 11:2)

4) Take steps only in the direction God is leading you

Refuse the urge to keep comparing your achievements with someone else. If you feel the need to compare, check with God if you are on track based on his plans for you.

5) Enjoy your life, no matter where you are

The physical achievement we see around does not validate internal joy. Celebrate you and your achievements no matter how insignificant it is to others.

6)Remain Grateful

Continue to be grateful to God for where you are and where he is taking you to.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.( Jer 29:11 NIV)




Aderonke Awonusi

Godlover, Unashamed of the Gospel of Christ. HR Pro & Writer. I am passionate about sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ through Storytelling..